Clever relationship hacks!

Hi Folks,

Check out this really really good metafilter discussion about clever relationships hacks. You have to work things/issues out in any relationship (mostly). How do you work things out? What specific tricks/tactics you have developed through experience, that help you better cope with relationship tensions or to enliven the relationship in general? If you are want to know, visit this forum discussion on metafilter – What clever relationship "hacks" have you come up with?. Some of the comments are hilarious and thought provoking -

We made a deal that any time someone had to say something he/she was worried about saying, he/she’d get a smooch for it. So admitting fears about life in general or the relationship specifically always gets rewarded. And a good conversation ensues.

And look at this one, which I think is single most important and yet so difficult thing to do. I like the poo metaphor.

Swallow your pride. Then digest it, pass it, flush it, and be done with it forever. It’s only exacerbating the argument.

There are few more excellent tips. Visit forum to check it out.

Also let me know if you know of any of your own.

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Cheers

What did you learn today? Oct 28, 2009

Hi Folks,

Every day, I share most interesting links, quotes, insights that I come across. Here is today’s scoop -

1. There are lot of things which need serious consideration if you want to buy a home. It’s not as easy as painting a rosy picture of a big house in your mind and seeing coming it alive. Mind you, I’m not saying you should not buy a home. But when you do so, when you think you are ready to switch from renting to owning, there might still be a lot of small things you should consider, beware of. When it comes to that, I think this mint.com blog post is a good place to start – First-Time Home Buyer Mistakes. All mint.com blog posts are generally good resources for a family man/woman who like to worry (now than later) about their financial health.
2. There is a lot of discussion/debate going on about how news publishing business is going digital with no single successful, one-size-fits-all revenue model in picture. Some say news is going to be free (on internet) because no body will pay. Some point at success of wall-street journal and economist. Here is a epochal(IMHO) blog post by Clay Shirky – Newspapers and Thinking the Unthinkable. He outlines clear parallels between current era (printing press – internet) and earlier era (before printing press came along) and make very interesting observations about future of publishing business. If you are into this kind of thing, you will love it – “It makes increasingly less sense even to talk about a publishing industry, because the core problem publishing solves — the incredible difficulty, complexity, and expense of making something available to the public — has stopped being a problem (with the rise of internet).”

What did you learn today? Can you please share with me?

—
Cheers,

Tejas Joshi

What did you learn today? Sep 20, 2009

Hi Folks,

I try to share most interesting links, quotes, insights that I come across. Here is today’s scoop -

1. In this interesting blog post, Ben Casnocha shares his reasons for – why he travels. I agree with most of the reasons.
2. I recently read this piece on Nieman Journalism Lab, about why comments are vital to creating communities around news websites. I especially like this paragraph – "Our comments routinely point us in the direction of new angles for stories, and in many cases commenters have become sources for future pieces. They do fact-checking for us, which we should be grateful for. And they let us know which stories they care about and which they don’t, which is invaluable market research. But those aren’t the only reasons why comments are important. Giving people a place to talk about important issues has value in and of itself, and the more we restrict that and impose limits on it, the more we risk losing the trust of the people formerly known as the audience."

What did you learn today? Can you please share with me?

—
Cheers,

Tejas Joshi

What did you learn today? Sep 11, 2009

Hi Folks,

Every day, I share most interesting links, quotes, insights that I come across. Here is today’s scoop -

1) Adam Savage of Mythbusters talks about 2 biggest failure of his life. Stories are nice and engaging, but till late in the talk (on 31:00 min mark), when you almost feel like what does he trying to say? Where is he leading this? Adam delivers this important thought -

Success is your achievment. Success defines how you are progressing. Failure is your vehicle for success. Failure leads you on the path to success. Failure tells you what to do (or not to do) in order to achieve success, in a subltler way than you may realize.

2) We hear news about health care reform all the time. What is it? Why does America needs it? What’s exactly the problem with American health care system? How does health care reforms aims to solve these problem? What are people out there debating about? To answer all the above questions, read this undisputed most effective piece of journalism by Atul Gawande. According to some well-known journalists, it’s best article you’ll see this year on American health care. It took me couple of hours to read the whole thing, but it was worth it. If you read it, make sure to read it through, most of the important part is towards the end of the article.

What did you learn today? Can you please share with me?

—
Cheers,

Tejas Joshi

How to search for a Job in 11 steps!

Are you fresh out of college and want to look for a new job? Are you experienced professional want to switch to another job? If yes, please read on.

Few days back, a friend asked advice about the business of going about looking for a job in US. I quickly wrote him up an email with whatever advice I thought would be useful. I would like to share that same advice for the benefit of all job-seekers out there, for what it’s worth. This is out of my own experience, by no means a complete guide, but still useful, or so do I hope.

1. Sign Up – sign up on dice.com, monster.com
2. Complete The Profile – Step #1 is obvious step, but make sure to COMPLETE the profile. Don’t just hastily sign up. Do it one site at a time, so you don’t get bored. Do one site, after a week do the next.
3. Do Not Disclose – Do NOT mention your name, current company name, current client name or any easily identifiable information anywhere in the site profile or uploaded resume. Mention something like very large US health care company, large multi-national IT company and so on. Remember recruiters only search for keywords on the job websites. If your profile matches the keywords (DBA, Oracle, C#, etc) they will send you an email through the website requesting for your resume. They will also brief you in the same email about  themselves, job description, location etc. In reply to this email, you send your REAL resume with all real information as actual name, company name etc. You can always choose not to respond to this email and they will never know any specifics about who you are (you didn’t mention anything on site profile, remember?).
4. Cover Letter – Prepare a nice ‘cover letter’ email. Use this email to send resume attachment to the recruiter.  Clearly state in cover letter brief about what you do, your career highlights and what you are looking for. MODIFY this generic cover letter each time to cater to the email you are replying. Try not to make it look canned. In any case, cover letter (even canned) is better than no cover letter. IMHO, 80% job seekers reply with just resume. You will immediately stand out if you have cover letter. I had experiences, when some recruiters were extra impressed by me, just because I had included a cover letter (even though they did not understand anything about my technical  abilities). I CANNOT emphasize this point any more.
5. Do Not Rush – These things take time. Give it like 3-4 months at least.
6. Trial Run – Look at first 20 recruiter calls, job interviews as trial run. You should use these calls to gauge the market price, typical interview  questions for your field, etc. Refine your price after each call.
7. Cut The Crap – Know whom you are talking to. Many recruiting agencies do initial screening by some dumb front desk helpers. Answer their questions briefly, but don’t let them waste too much of your time. You want to talk very nicely to high level recruiting manager though. Don’t worry, you can tell the difference, or you will by the time your trial run is over.
8. Know Your Price – Know your desired salary range. Remember, your range should change according to job location. In states like WI, OH, you may ask for 65-70 K for senior software developer. For the same position, you should ask for 85-90 K in FL, CA. In NY you would ask for 100 K. Use salary.com, payscale.com to calculate cost of living for the location. These websites give you lot of options to select which can be confusing. Don’t worry too much about selecting correct choices. Idea is to get ballpark approximations about how expensive or cheap the job location is with respect to your current city.
9. Keep Preparing – Pass one good certification exam (BrainBench, MCTS, OCP, etc) in your field. You stand out with a certification recently passed. During job interviews, briefly note down questions which you can’t answer. Look them up IMMEDIATELY after the interview. Again, do it immediately, not later. I cannot believe how many times I got stumped by questions, which I was asked in previous interviews as well and I had thought in my mind that I should look this up.
10. Know your preferences – And stick to them. You only want a job in places like Florida/California? You don’t want to work hectic schedules? You can come on sat-sun but you have to leave by 6 pm on weekdays, because you have to pick up your daughter from daycare? You don’t want to work on maintenance project? What is the bench policy? Is there an option to work on percentage basis? Try to know answers to these questions. Don’t worry about getting all preferences right at once, you can refine them during trial run. Ask to speak with the project manager (or immediate supervisor). Do not hesitate. Get answers to all your questions, before you finalize.
11. Again, Go Slow – Always ask for more time. Don’t hurry to say yes or no. Recruiters will always pester you to say yes. They will give all kinds of excuses and show extreme urgency to get your answer. If he gives you 10 reasons to take a decision, be ready with 11 reasons why you can’t decide right now. The only reason they hurry you is, they know you are hunting too, if you get a good deal somewhere else you are gone. They want to lock you in. Don’t fall in their trap. If your interview goes well and you are serious about the offer, again, ask to speak with the project manager (or immediate supervisor), before you finalize.

I know this advice is not perfect. It’s only a quick reflection on a question, how to look for job? What steps to take? Feel free to leave comments if you have any more tips, advice to share.

P.S. – I know the title sounds a little cheesy. People are more like to click on such links, they say.

What did you learn today? Aug 11, 2009

Hi Folks,

Every day, I share most interesting links, quotes, insights if I come across any. Here is today’s scoop -

1) Networking solutions for career success – Michelle Tullier (author of this book ) talks about practical tips for networking in general. Best way is to download and start listening from 18:20 into the webinar.

2) I want to mention 2 very good non-fiction books that I read recently. Following are the links to my notes from both books -

• Notes: First, Break All the Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently – by Marcus Buckingham
• Notes: Photoreading by Paul R. Scheele

If you are or expect to be in any leadership/front line manager position, you should definitely check out this book. I started reading from chapter 7: The art of interviewing for talent and that hooked me. So I went back and read it from start, it was worth it.

One thing I want to quickly mention about photoreading book is, there is lot of good advice and thought provoking nuggets in this book. After reading photoreading, I certainly saw a significant improvement in my reading technique, speed and comprehension at that speed. There is lot of melodrama and exaggerated promises (IMHO) in this book. But one needs to try and see beyond all the melodrama, to truly understand the logic behind why the techniques might be so useful. I plan to write a blog post as a review of this book. I will try to explain my point further at that time. Till then, please stay tuned.

Is there anything interesting you learn today? Please share it with me, here in comments?

—
Cheers,
Tejas Joshi

What did I learn today? August 03, 2009

Hi Folks,

Every day, I share most interesting links,  quotes, insights that I come across. Here is today’s scoop -

1. An intriguing finding about how to reset your biological clock to overcome jet lag. How to Naturally Reset Your Sleep Cycle In One Night.
2. And now a very interesting story of an American programmer who learned to speak and read Hindi & Kannada. He also an author of many books. I plan to read My Job Went to India: 52 Ways to Save Your Job soon. Contrary to what the title suggests, it’s more about how to be a good programmer and less about Indians taking jobs.

What did you learn today? Can you please share with me?
—
Cheers,
Tejas Joshi

Perception!

On this weekend I went to clubhouse in our apartment complex. I wanted to get up to speed with ASP.NT MVC. Recently, I’ve fallen in love with this ‘Ruby-on-Rail’ish technology. So, usually this place is very quiet. One can see the peaceful blue of swimming pool through the wall-to-wall glass doors. Focus lights in the high ceiling, comfortable round tables and comfy chairs, etc, etc. And no distractions, I like it there.

This particular weekend, just after I settled down and started working, a family arrived on the swimming pool. Then started the splashes and joyful screams of those kids and frantic instructions (Don’t go to the deep end, etc) of their parents. I was not very much bothered at this point. In fact I was wondering why there were not more people in the pool area, on such a hot day. After a while something weird started. Someone from the pool repeatedly started shouting ‘MARCO’, then others would say ‘POLOO!!’ MARCO!.. POLO!.. MARCO!.. POLO!.. It was driving me insane. WTF? What are they shouting for? It’s been 15 minutes almost and they were still shouting. They would stop in between for a minute and then they would start again. I almost thought of going outside to the pool and asking them to quite down.

Then it occurred to me. Are they playing some kind of a game? I immediately searched on our trustworthy wikipedia.com. Sure enough, there it was – Marco Polo Game. Suddenly it all made sense to me. It’s a game very similar to our आन्धळी कोशिंबीर. They were not shouting insanely for no particular reason after all. They were playing a game – The Mom, and the Dad and the kids. And they were immensely enjoying it. As soon as I knew what it was, it stopped bothering me. In fact, it was kind of cute. I turned my chair back to face swimming pool and watched them play for a few minutes. Then I started working again without being bothered, even though there was the same chorus of continuous MARCO! POLO! in the background.

‘Change of Perception’ can be a useful tool. If you can’t change the situation, try to change the perception.

Cheers,
Tejas Joshi

What did I learn today? July 27, 2009

Hi Folks,

Every day, I share most interesting links, quotes, insights that I come across. Here is today’s scoop -

1. Please watch when you have 20 minutes to spare, that way you can watch it till end. It may come across as a little melodramatic, but I think it’s true nevertheless, very true. P.S. – I’m not endorsing any product here.
2. Another powerful lesson by Steve Blank – Ask and It Shall be Given. Even though you may know the message already, Steve tells it with a personal story, which makes it very interesting.

What did you learn today? Can you please share with me?

—
Cheers,

Tejas Joshi

What did I learn today? July 16, 2009

Hi Folks,

Every day, I share most interesting links, quotes, insights that I come across. Here is today’s scoop -

1) Another great discussion from ask.metafilter.com on overcoming social awkwardness. Following comment caught my eye. It’s totally irrelevant to the topic at hand so to say, but interesting nevertheless. I find it thought provoking, something to consider, if I ever had to hire customer service reps in this lifetime.

Right out of college, I got a job working in a call center, the 800 customer service # for a major corporation. Unlike the situation today, where call centers are crap jobs with crap pay, this company took it very seriously. The phone reps were seen as the face of the company, the primary point of contact for potential and current customers, so we were invested in. We had decent salaries, fantastic training on not just our product but on communicating with customers via phone, and were encouraged to move up in the company (no lie: I know several call center alumni who now hold executive positions).

The entire discussion is worth giving a read, lot of useful advice, as always.

What did you learn today? Can you please share with me?

—
Cheers,

Tejas Joshi